A guide to drinking with Doctor Who Series 10. Without knowing what in the universe you’re about to watch. Remember: You should always drink drink Doctor Who and alcohol responsibly!

If you’re going to have a drink, watching Doctor Who, an alcoholic on, it has to be rosé, right? Everyone knows that. It’s all the better when the show’s on in it’s rejuvenated spring and summer slot – because an equation that begins with spring/summer and Doctor Who has to end with rosé. It was there from the first episode of 2005 (or do you still pronounce it Rose!?), and has only been confirmed by experiments screening it in the autumn. It worked so well for the Classic Series, but you know – that was more Merlot.

I reviewed and rated every one of the episodes of this year’s Series 10 for my pop culture blog

Episode One: The Pilot

> A medium intensity delicately coloured pink hue rose, an aroma of strawberries and red fruits… With an intelligent, human-absorbing oil slick.

Episode Two: Smile

> Fruit-tastic rosé matching strawberry with watermelon, and a fine blush… With a bit of the old 😣

Episode Three: Thin Ice

> So soon, the experiment risked falling to bits. But there’s always Neil Diamond.

Episode Four: Knock Knock

> Silver Bay Point, British wine from imported grapes – easily complements most tastes and mood with its hints of ripe red summer fruits, and is perfect with ice during PARTIES. Not so much for Wood converting aliens in a panelled Jane Eyre.

Episode Five: Oxygen

> I didn’t forget the name – that’s what it’s called! Surprisingly not made from British, imported grapes – Light red berries and citrus fruit make for in ideal aperitif. So think of it in terms of the Moffat-trope packed, chilling pre-titles. All lack of communication, missed life issues, Hull stomping undead hordes…

Episode Six: Extremis

> The product of four generations work, “Luscious, fruity wine with flavours of strawberry and citrus” seems ready made for this miserable parallel universe of chicken nuggets in monk robes, confused popes and Dan Brown on speed-dial…

Episode Seven: The Pyramid at the End of the World

> Blush may be right. Characteristically crisp and fruity, Northern Italian wine with a fresh apple edge… Quite the opposite of the Series’ low-point, which had more in common with an episode of Casualty.

Episode Eight: The Lie of the Land

> A fruity wine, packing in strawberry, raspberry and berry flavours, originating from the sunny vineyards of Campo de Borja in north east Spain. Crucially for the ridiculously profligate finale of the mid-series three-parter, EXTRA SULPHITES. Just about gets you through the Doctor’s glorious return to land, crashing a pier and crushing humans as he acts like Dracula holed up on The Demeter for weeks.

Episode Nine: Empress of Mars

> Oh how appropriate green wine would have been, if the constraints of this laboratory conditions hadn’t been so severe. So Portuguese rosé it was. Full of red fruit flavours, the grapes for this wine are carefully selected from vineyards across the wine regions of Portugal – which is a similar approach to reference and homage Mark Gatiss took to penning this colonial return of those big ol’ scaly Ice Warriors.

Episode Ten: The Eaters of Light

> Perhaps the best named rosé for an episode that will grow in stature long after this series concludes. Romans, the Ninth Legion. Picts, a severed Doctor, Lovecraftian shenanigans and this latterly revived, tannin-heavy, rich berry blend.

Episode Eleven: World Enough and Time and Episode Twelve: the Doctor Falls

> Combining the series’ high-point, and one of the greatest hours of New Series Doctor Who. To France for the pale pink Provencal rosé, crafted from vineyards close to the sunny Mediterranean coast – and far more elegant fresh and fruit-filled than Master-influenced Mondasians. If everyone’s going to perish, and so they do, this is a way to go.

There we have it. A mixed bag of rosé, perfectly matching a mixed-bag, but generally higher quality, run of Doctor Who. Just not necessarily in the right order.

Unlikely to be repeated for Series 11. 😀

 

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